For the past week or so I haven’t been hungry, yet I have been eating everything in sight. Cakes, pastries, fried, baked, healthy, junk, everything. I used to go to bed feeling like OMG!, I can’t handle this. I would wake up every morning thinking today I will resist eating everything. Yet, I didn’t. I was never hungry but I would still eat. I would think to myself, why am I doing this? Why can’t I stop eating?
After much thought, it occurred to me that I do things #justbecause. I buy redundant items online just because. I eat food just because, and I waste time because I can. Is it gluttony?
This idea that I can do something just because I can, I realized, is poison. Its not like eating gave me pleasure, not at all. I would feel like crap afterwards and not because of the wasted calories and what they would do to my waistline, but because I would feel so full that I would be sick all day. I would feel so tired and heavy that I wouldn’t know what to do. It’s a horrible feeling. Not only that, but I knew that eventually I wouldn’t be able to fit into those pants that I bought online #justbecause.
I find this idea of mass gluttony not tied to willpower but more tied to happiness. We continuously aim to be happy so we fill our void with things that we eat and things that we buy. We eat restricted foods because we enjoy breaking the rules and because this gives us a few moments of happiness. We buy random items online because they make us feel valued and pretty and suddenly we cannot live without them. If you think about it, we do a lot of things to make us happy. But have you ever thought that happiness can do without these things?
Perhaps the idea of happiness is around enjoying these foods and savoring them rather than gulping them down like I did. Enjoying every bite and listening to my body when it told me, “Alright, I have had enough, you may stop eating now,” instead of forcing extra food down it in the name of ‘why not?’. Perhaps having a bite or two would’ve been enough and I would’ve been happier and more at peace with myself.
Living the simple life is what makes us happy. Imagine emptying our lives of everything that we have and just keeping what we really enjoy. How ironic would that be to what we are doing now? This applies to everything, even relationships. Imagine “throwing out” all the people that make us miserable and keeping those that make us happy. How positive would our circle be? Why is it so hard to do so? Because of what people might say? What they would think of us? Why do we care?
We have this idea that we need more and more and more. More friends, more clothes, more cars, more food and more money. Abundance. But let me tell you, abundance is having less that is worth more. Abundance is doing good to people and making them feel appreciated. It is giving rather than receiving and it is spreading positivity rather than things. When you leave the world, no one will say, wow that person had a great TV set, they will remember you for who you were. At the end of the day, people will only remember how you made them feel and not what you gave them.
Filling your void with more things won’t give you contentment. You know contentment? That feeling of inner peace? We get it at times when we reconnect with nature, when we carry a baby and when we achieve something we didn’t think we could. Try emptying your life of things. Look around you and see what makes you happy and what doesn’t and throw it out. Don’t be afraid. Why are you holding on to it anyway? Why feed a hunger with empty calories? It will never satisfy your craving.
After you do that, look at yourself. Are you happier? Are you content? Do you have abundance? You will learn that all along it wasn’t willpower that was failing you but empty meaningless things. You won’t have a void anymore but space. Space to do what you love. Space to fill with meaning and abundance. You will be happy but not because of your last credit card purchase but because of how you feel from the inside. Eventually, you won’t depend on cake to make you happy and buying random things won’t be a crutch for you anymore. You will have so much and be able to give so much more to the people around you. How funny is it that now I understand that “less is more?” Own less to have more. More happiness, more content and more abundance, you know, #justbecause.